I never seem to learn

I just never seem to learn that I cannot take Carter to the library. Never, never, never again. I cannot give him a bowl of spaghetti noodles and leave him alone in the den (what the hell was I thinking?!). I cannot sit down for a minute and "relax" within sight of him ("UPPPP! up up up!" he yells like a drill sergeant). I cannot keep the floors clean because it is much too much fun to dump food and pour milk on them. I cannot grocery shop and keep within a budget at the same time. Hell, I can't even keep miscellaneous items from getting rung up (lil stinker has learned the sneak-it-on-the-conveyor-belt trick).
I simply cannot function in any way, shape or form how I'd functioned for almost 30 years before Carter made his screaming way into the world. But ya know what? That's fine. It's all about learning together. Right? right??? :) In a way I feel sorry for this new little one who won't arrive for a few more months now....What a world he'll (she) be coming into! But then again Carter has done the hard job of breaking in his parents, already. (and yes, I do feel broken sometimes)
I often do the "Okay! New rule!" announcement right after I realize that I am fighting a losing battle with my strong-willed toddler. Does it work? Hmmm, sometimes. :) Mostly it's out of desperation for control of my household. Am I the only one who screams inside her head? Thank god for inner dialogue, huh!