Guess which one my husband is

Because I am a major geek, I have broken down sports fans into these 5 categories:


The Checker
This guy checks the scores of the big teams so that he can still qualify as a "guy"; he may read an article in the sports section of the paper but mostly just to participate in the office discussions; he probably never really played sports much or maybe he just played golf.

The Watcher
This guy watches his teams mainly and keeps himself informed about the others in the league or division; he may be tentatively involved in a fantasy football league; he knows players names and a couple of important stats but not much else. Ladies tend to be either Checkers or Watchers.

The Pro
This guy knows his stuff; he likes to play a pick-up game of football on the weekends with his buds; he watches football, baseball and basketball, mostly the pro leagues but may dabble in certain college games; he wears his jersey to the sports bar; he is in at least 2 fantasy sports leagues; he has his favorite players and knows all their stats and history; he has fiery disussions about trades, wins and losses; he may get drunk and argumentative if you insult his team/player.

The Human ESPN
This guy watches every sports channel, network, pro game, and college game that he can get his eyes on; he knows the stats and history for a good chunk of all major players in the last 40 years; he gives play-by-plays in minute detail and argues with the television; he may be a season ticket holder; he has multiple jerseys, hats and sports memorabilia; he may experience extreme personality changes during times of wins or losses; he may schedule important dates so that they do not interfer with his games; he is deeply affected on a personal level by the players actions; he will be in at least 5 fantasy leagues.

The Superfan aka The Rainman of Sports
This guy is all of the above and more; he doesn't need a jersey at a sporting event, he goes barechested and/or painted; he never really talks about anything else but sports; he follows his teams on the road; he names his children after favorite players; he lives and dies by The Game; he may be violent if he feels his team/player is is being insulted; he yells constantly at the tv and game announcers and calls in so often to sports radio shows that they know his name; scouts may pay him a consulting fee; he talks to himself and may recite stats; in his mind fantasy sports leagues just pollute the purity of The Game; if his wife left him during football season he wouldn't notice until playoffs.

You all will be happy to know that my darling husband is only The Human ESPN. Phew! ;)