Two years ago....

The whole pregnancy I had planned for a natural birth. I studied and read lots of books and articles and even hired a doula to assist us with labor and delivery. I treated it as an "event" like a Marathon; something to train for.

However, our son had other plans... Carter was born by c-section on Wednesday, August 30th at 9:34 a.m. He was a breech baby and came out butt first!

The day before he was born was an ordinary day... I had a doctors appointment and we were going to see if I was dilated at all. I was getting impatient and tired of being pregnant. When the doctor checked me and couldn't feel his head she was worried since I was only 5 days away from my due date and he should have been engaged in my pelvis and my body should have been "preparing" itself for labor....but no such luck. Nothing was happening down there. So, we did an ultrasound to see what he was doing. That's when she told me that he was breech and that he must have flipped from head-down to head-up about 3-4 weeks earlier. They don't deliver breech babies vaginally at this hospital because of the risk so she said we needed to do a c-section the next morning to avoid the chance of me going into labor and having to do an emergency section (which poses risks). I cried alot. I really wanted to deliver him naturally and experience the satisfaction of bringing him into the world. I felt cheated somehow. I had also previously experienced minor abdominal surgery and knew that a cesaeran is no walk in the park. People treat it so lightly these days but I knew the risks and the potential for a long recovery.
I tried some home remedies to "turn" him that evening but he was stubborn and wouldn't budge. I only slept 2 hours that night and was angry and bitchy the next morning. Let's just say I was not the best patient. I did begin having regular and painful contractions during my pre-op prep, though. So maybe it was labor and he was meant to be born that day anyway. :)
After I was prepped I shuffled to the operating room and they administered the spinal. Weird. I could feel but not really. Kinda like at the dentist. They brought Kevin in as they made the incision and he sat by me and waited while they dug around my abdomen. There was lots of pressure and I got intense shakes and shivers from the spinal medication. They pulled Carter out butt first, I guess but I couldn't see anything.
I heard his first little warble though, and my eyes welled up with tears. Then he started to holler and they pulled the drape down so I could see my beautiful boy. I was surprised to see his gold-red hair. The nurses took him over to be weighed and stuff and handed him to Kevin all wrapped up tight. That is when Kevin carried him over to me with tears running down his cheeks and said "Honey, you took your vitamins" and all the nurses said "Aaaaahhhhh!". He put Carter up close to my face so I could kiss him and touch him. I wanted to hold him so bad! They all then left while I got sewed up. I had never felt so lonely in all of my life then at that moment....
I remember feeling impatient for them to just hurry up and get all this crap done so I could hold my son. They took me to recovery where I sat and shook and shivered and finally between clenched teeth I asked when I could see my baby. The nurse looked at me like I was crazy and said "You want him now? Don't you want to rest and recover?!". At this point my mood was almost homicidal....poor woman didn't know she had such an awful patient, I'm guessing. I hopefully didn't show it....
So after about an hour or so after my surgery Kevin came walking into recovery carrying the most precious bundle of hospital blankets I had ever laid eyes on. Finally. Finally, my little man with whom I had shared 9+ months with, was in my arms.
I began breastfeeding right away and he was a quick learner...or teacher, I'm not sure which.


Anyway, life couldn't have been more sweet than at that moment when I finally had you in my arms, Carter. My perfect little baby. You are my world and it doesn't matter how you got here, it just matters that you did.

Happy 2nd Birthday, Big Guy!!!!! I can't believe it!