Therapists and Linguists wanted

We have a very highly emotional child with an unhealthy obsession with the vacuum.

I mean, it's incredible. If we are at home I can expect to deal with at least 5 mental breakdowns a day about that stupid mother-effing "vroom vroom". I hate the vacuum.
But honestly, if it's not the vacuum then it's daddy's battery powered toothbrush or the lawnmower (not as accessible, thank gawd) or it's the broom, the mop....argh, anything that goes or moves. My son is like a T-Rex; if it doesn't move, maybe he won't see it....

Anyway, we are a House of Frustration lately. We are all trying to understand one another and prepare for the maelstrom that is a newborns arrival. This means a lot of tears and yelling. Our poor little guy just can't understand why he can't do some things or why his exhausted parents won't get off their rumps to "chase" him around the house.....for the 30th time; or why we don't understand him all the time. This boy is a ball of energy from the minute he leaps from his dreams in the morning to the bittersweet moment he finally succumbs to the Dreaded Sleep at night-night. I am but a slave, beaten and whipped. Ah, the drama.

I've decided I need a Toddler-Parent dictionary. I've looked on Amazon.com but no luck. Weird. You'd think there would be one out there by now. I mean there is one for practically every other language in the world but not for one of the most important. WTF. I mean who really speaks Narua or Icelandic these days? Isn't language the most important form of communication? Doesn't it shape relationships? Political systems?
Are mothers supposed to inherently speak toddler tongue? Hmmm. I didn't come with that particular Mama Program installed, I guess. I've spent almost 2 years listening to my little boy jibber jabber so how come I can't decipher "Maaamaaaa!!!! Schtock vroom vroom belha manna peeeeeese!!??? (flipping hand motion and jumping) WAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!"

(Shrug)

Oh well. We will just have to communicate in the language of love...hugs and kisses. :)


End note: I really am so proud of his language skills thus far. Everyday he uses a new word or word combos to make himself understood. Our main problem is when frustration takes over the tongue. Just wanted to make clear that our Big Guy is coming along nicely in the verbal skills department. :) love, da mama