When I like him, I really like him

Me- Did you like the smoothie mommy made for you?
Carter- No. Nooooo good, mommy. (shaking his head back and forth emphatically)
Me- Hmmm, looks like you liked it enough to finish it all up.... Is that a strawberry mustache?
Carter- Nooooooo!
Kevin- Tell your mommy you liked it. You've hurt her feelings. Tell her it was delicious.
(mommy now covering face in despair ;) )
Carter- I sorry mommy. It was deshish. Otay?

*****
You know that old Saturday Night Live skit with Mike Meyers as the special kid that's not allowed sugar? He's harnessed to the play gym at the park and has a helmet on? Okay. Well then remember how when his character is given chocolate or something he starts flippin' out and running to the end of his "leash" and then falling back when it jerks taut? Haha. Well, I'm not saying my child is anything like that but if you ever see him when I put his safety leash on him (yes, it is necessary since he will run from me in parking lots and has no sense of fear) you would think of that comedy sketch. Today as we are leaving Mommy & Me I strapped him into his "safety buckles" and held on for dear life. There goes my son...running-jerked back-running-jerked back-swing in a running arc to the left-jerked back-and so on and so on. Freaking hilarious. Er, well it would be if it weren't my kid and I was just the observer.

*****
Carter- Daddy? I play puter game noooooow? (whine)
Kevin- No, not right now. Daddy is doing work on the computer.
Carter- Daddy? (begging stance with knees together and hands clasped desperately) Very very very very very very pleeeease, Daddy?
Kevin- Okay. (he had no chance of winning this one. Carter is a master at begging and manipulation)

*****
The other night I was trying to get Carter to come to the dinner table but he was in the bathroom with a wet washcloth, cleaning. Yeah. I'm gonna bring this up to him when he is 13 and refuses to do chores. I will tell him how he used to beg me to let him vacuum and scrub the bathroom sink. Anyway, this is how the smidget talks to me:
Me- Carter, let's go man! Dinner time!
Carter- No, mommy. Too busy cleaning! Cleaning so very very hard. (scrubbing sink with washcloth)
Me- Okay, look! It's all clean now, hurry up and come eat.
Carter- No! Stand back mommy! (hand out in a "Halt" position) I so very busy cleaning. I be one mint. Very very very duurty!
Well, hell. Who's gonna argue too much with that? Although in my defense, I just cleaned that sink and it was not "very very very duurty". Harumph.

*****
Carter- Mommy? What time is? (coming into the bathroom while I'm showering)
Me- It's 11:30.
Carter- Otay, tanks.
He then walked away apparently satisfied with that answer. I guess maybe he's got an appointment later or something? And my husband thinks that I'm too schedule oriented. Hah!