I am scarred

The C-section scar doesn't really bother me anymore...it's just there, but it's not like anyone can see it. However, I am now horrified to admit I have just discovered my first Stretch Mark. Egads! I told ya'll this child was stretching me to my very limits, didn't I? It is only about 2 inches big but it is right over my belly button. How very inconspicous. Crap. Is this the end of my hot bikini body, I ask! Nooooooo! How ever will I get those digits next time I head to the waterpark?

Teehee.

On the family front: Carter threw a fork at a woman at Olive Garden last night....and hit her. Yes. I wanted to crawl under the table. The fork was covered in alfredo sauce and it flew end over end in slow motion, spewing cream sauce over the other patrons before it speared the poor old lady's leg. Argh.
"Um, sorrry!" I say pathetically as she just raises her eyebrows at me.
Kevin swooped him outside to have a "talk" with him. Very tense husband moment....he gets stressed with the public misbehavior. I have just given up trying to be suave mommy. Now I am messy mommy, sweaty mommy, frowning mommy, yelling mommy and "What did you just say?" mommy. Oh well.

Swim lessons cancelled again. Grrrrr. I am very schedul oriented. Now what the hell do I do to entertain child?

Danger is my middle name

Remember the movie Parenthood, with Steve Martin? Well, there is this part where they are kinda comparing their two children (Rick Moranis and Steve Martin). One is a brilliant little girl who is naming composers from flash cards and doing complex math and the other one is a little boy with a bucket on his head and he is ramming himself into the wall over and over again.

I have the bucket-head child. :)

Seriously, this boy loves to just spin around in circles until he falls over laughing, he hits his head against the wall for fun, he gnaws on sticks and he does acrobatics off of the couch.
He has indeed won his nickname fair and square; Carter Kanievel, our little daredevil. Or maybe we are raising another Dawg the Bounty Hunter. Oh lawd help me.

On another subject Carter related, he was handing me his trains and "counting" and it went like this: "Nnnnn, Tooooo, Teeeee, Nine"
Hey! Close enough.

What's the worst thing you've had in your mouth?

So the other night after bathtime and jammy time I walk into the den and notice a puddle on the floor. Hmmm.

"Kevvvviiiiinnnnn, what's on the floor?" I yell.
"I don't know" he says, bending down to stick his finger in it and smell it (bad move man).
"Is it water?" I ask. "Is it pee?" (thinking of the devil cat)
"I don't know.....it doesn't smell like anything..."

So Kevin gets a paper towl and cleans it up. I then realize that little man Carter had nakey time for about 5-10 minutes after his bath and he did make a unaccompanied foray into the den...that little stinker!

"hmmm..." he says "it looks a little yellow...." and the best part "....I think I got some in my mouth"

He looked rather worried at this point. I was quick to point out that urine is sterile and no one was ever harmed by getting it in their mouth; Hell, they drink it sometimes if the situation is desperate. This did not seem to satisfy. I then pointed out that I've gotten much worse....I had the joy of having our little 10 month old baby throw up in my mouth as I played airplane with him. I officially won the "What's the worst thing you've had in your mouth"-Game with that one.
As a parent, what's the worst thing you've had in your mouth?

Misbehavin'

I'm afraid I may need the Super Nanny.... This little guy cannot be reasoned with in times of tantrums. I do not think I can take him to another doctors appointment, lemme tell ya. He was refusing to walk so I had to carry him everywhere while trying to balance a clipboard, paperwork, insurance info, my purse and snacks. Then when he spotted the Glorious Stairs he made a break for it because he loves them so. I had to restrain him as he screamed and threw himself on the ground in lobby/waiting area while I tried in vain to schedule my next appt and ultrasound. I could just see the little thought bubbles above some of these people's heads.....

"Why is she having another one when she can't control the first?" or "Can't she shut that kid up?" or "I can't believe she brought her child to her doctors appt!" or the ever famous "Pshh, my child will not act like that, let me tell you!"

Oh the glares and accusing looks. I just wanted to say in my best Southern speak "Hey ya'll! Bite me"

He then tried to run away from me in the parking lot as I struggled to get the van unlocked.
Once we got home he made a break for it and ran straight for the street.
I had finally had it. I threw everything down, grabbed him and "turned him over my knee" for a couple of swats. Well! The bottom lip came out and he sat quietly on the couch for about 10 minutes, every so often telling me how I "swatted" his butt.

Even today when I say "that's a No no no!" he says "no no no!" and pats at his bottom. Oh geez!
I just worry about his safety when he disobeys me. He will gladly throw himself down the stairs or run straight into the street rather than listen to me. Very frustrating phase.

I always like to end with something pleasant after I vent about Carters' highjinks.... so, we are at 16 weeks and everything is going well. My next appt will be the one when I find out whether it's a boy or a girl! Yeah, can't wait.
Annnnnd, I finally got to hear a darling little "Luff ooo" (love you) the other night before bed, followed by a mmmmm-mwah kiss. So sweet.

I think I've flunked motherdom

So we are getting ready to head out to Target today and Carter does his usual routine for going out.... deciding whether he wants a hat/jacket/mittens/some of his "guys" (little people or weebles) etc...... He is very particular. Today he chose red mittens. I don't know why. He just really really likes them. Two days ago he napped in them. I don't fight him on these things. If people want to give us odd looks when we are out, I don't care. I nearly forgot about the mittens until a Target employee approached me and said, "I just gotta know...what's with the mittens?"
I simply said "he refused to leave the house without them" and that was that. I very well could have made up something horrifying like he has leprosy or a very contagious rash or something, just to mess with her. Ah well. Next time.

On the way home I get a mad craving for Wendy's so I drive out of my way for a "treat". I ordered one large fries and a chocolate Frosty. mmmmm. And yes, I am pregnant.

So we get home and Carter practically tackles me to get to the "treats". I put him in his highchair and give him a dollop of frosty in a bowl and 5 fries. Then I sat across from him and we both sat there dipping our fries in our frostys and gobbling them up. It was a bonding moment.

Disclaimer: Now, I generally don't let him have stuff like this all the time. We are pretty healthy eaters around here. :)

Random acts of a toddler

Now, folks. Everyday with a toddler is a challenge but today is breaking me. I'm so tired. ugh, what a whiner I am.

This little rascal makes me laugh all day long but at the same time I want to pull out my hair. This morning I woke up not so great but my little one was of course full speed ahead. He demands his juice first thing and loves to show you where to go to get it, which juice to pour and how damn thirsty he is by doing an excited song and dance. So right after juice we'll do diaper change and then I stagger back to the kitchen to make my coffee; zombielike. However, today....like I said previously, I'm not feeling so hot....so I'm not exactly rushing to make the coffee. This break from the routine is unacceptable to a toddler. He demanded I make my coffee with shouts and jumping and pointing to the coffee maker and the ginormous coffee can on the counter. He was greatly disturbed.
My point here being that I am not the great Routine Maker/Uptight/Schedule Nazi that my husband thinks I am.....I am merely a pawn.

Moving on to shower time. I blockade our little scamp in the back rooms while I shower so he can't get into too much trouble. This gives him his bedroom, the guest room and the bathroom to romp around in and I can kinda keep an eye on him. He was having a good time emptying out the diaper stacks, trying on shoes and playing with his toys and then every so often coming and whipping the shower curtain open and tossing something in with me.....but then I notice a stillness. It had probably been a few minutes by the time I realized it. We ALL know that children and quiet don't really happen naturally unless there is trouble. So I get out of the shower and did a quick scan of the bathroom noticing that the roll of toilet paper I had just put on the counter was gone. Uh OH.
Carter was proudly "decorating" his room with the roll of toilet paper and I say proudly because he was practically glowing with it and looked utterly devestated when I took that roll away from him. Not even 2 yrs old and he's practicing his TP'ing skills. Can't wait for highschool.

So now we are in afternoon. He wanted to color and lo! am I to hold back his artistic urges so we got some crayons and colored pencils out. We drew daddy a picture and then promptly smelled up the whole room with a dirty diaper. So we are off to change the smelly and running with a colored pencil. "No running with pencils! You'll poke your eye out!"I say and wrestle pencil from ninja grip. "Arghhhh!" screams the child and snatches it back (with ninja style) Wherein he promptly trips and pokes himself in the eye with it. Here my point is that mothers are always right.